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I still break down in tears and panic randomly

So I am finally away from my toxic marriage of 14 years. I went back twice and then this third time I have left with my children who have also been affected severely. I’ve been told for so long that I am worthless and nothing and lucky he was married to me. I know all of it is false but how mentally do I take steps forward when I just break down in tears and panic randomly. The dark closet is my safe place and where my children can’t see me. I don’t know how I will ever be ok and not think it’s my fault and live in a constant state of worthlessness.

I feel stuck financially 😔

I feel stuck financially because my toxic person makes double what I make and thinks I'm here for a free ride. I have a good job with good pay. Benefits, which they are on, and job security. I pay all the bills, I help with the groceries. I pay daycare, the kids clothes, extracurriculars, and equipment. I can't save anything. I can't qualify for a mortgage on my own. This is one of my main reasons for staying and sticking around when I know it's unhealthy. What tips do you have to become unstuck to move in any direction?'